Since the birth of Atheism Plus I have read a LOT of blogs, forums, and heard many videos of people who keep talking about things like rape-culture, the patriarchy, harassment, abuse, and feminism. I have now come to the conclusion that many of the Atheism Plus supporters, members, and leaders are just a sad bunch of people who live their lives in a constant state of fear, self-pity, and delusion. And I am not saying sad in a demeaning way. I genuinely think this is sad, verging on the point of absolutely fucking depressing.
I could not imagine living my life as these people do. To have such a skewed view of the world where every man is considered a rapist, and where one has to be in a constant state of high alert. It must be fucking exhausting to be like that day in and day out. To not be able to genuinely enjoy anything in life because one is always on the lookout for some threat or danger. What kind of life is that? How can someone even function as a normal human being when this is all they think about?
And that's the point. These people are damaged. They have had something so traumatic happen to them at some point in their lives that they have not had the strength, or means, to actually deal with it. They have not been able to let those traumas go or face them head on and begin healing. They have let it consume them and they have forgotten how to live life without that fear and constant sense of being a victim. And that fear and victimization has become so familiar to them that it is hard to let go because in some sense, it comforts them. It is the one thing that they can control, because they might feel they can't control anything else in their lives.
Being a victim gets you sympathy and attention. It makes you feel special and safe when others come to comfort you. It allows the victim to say that nothing is their fault. These responses can be very appealing... Addictive almost. Letting go of being a victim means losing all of those things and forces you to stand on your own two feet. For many, this is a terrifying thing to even consider, and so remaining the victim is preferable.
I truly do feel sorry for those that have chosen to live like this. And yes, it is a choice... One always has a choice. Sadly, these people have chosen to remain fearful victims. But make no mistake. Just because one chooses to remain a fearful victim does not entitle them to anyone's sympathy or compassion. If people choose to enable them with sympathy and compassion that is their choice, but others will not choose to do so. That does not mean that those who choose not to enable them are being heartless or mean. It just means that they do not see any real benefit in doing so, or they see a benefit in not doing so.
Most people will feel sorry for you for a moment or two, but then they will expect you to stop using your fear and victimization as a reason for all the bad shit that happens in your life because, ultimately you are the one who decides whether past events will dictate your future or not.
Most of us have had bad shit happen to us, but we learn from it and move on. We don't let it rule our lives and dictate how we will proceed as life goes on. We understand that life moves on with or without us, and if we want to enjoy this one life we have, we cannot be stuck in the past with all our baggage.